Love Languages

  I heard of this book The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman. I knew I needed to get it and find out my Love Language. I also needed to know Jeremy's Love Language. What do you know we have the same top two Love Languages ( If only we could speak the same dialect) Acts of Service and Physical Touch. I really didn't think the Physical Touch was one of mine because I was never a huggy person or liked being really close to others. Ask my Aunts and Grandparents I never wanted to hug them. LOL I grew up and now really like hugs.

  Things have been rough to say the least since we got married. Between a new born and the Air Force life was crazy from the start. Moving to Alaska was going to be better we thought. Our problems followed us and added another sector in to that relatives living close by. The Lord has got us through some stuff and well continue to grow us closer to him.

   Its hard to believe that things are as good as they are now. From time to time things still come up. The Lord reminds me of what I have and what I can do to make it work. A family that prays together stays together was the theme of my devotional this morning after a confrontational night God knew what I need to hear at just the right time. I look to God at all times because with out him I am nothing. The Lord gives me strength in the storms. I well praise him always.

Finding my voice and being me

Sidney at tolmi state park may 2009 

As I wake up before my girls to start my day right in the word of God I find myself growing, learning and finding my voice in this world. I have conquered a lot of demons in my life. Ones that keep coming back to haunt me. Not any more. With the power of prayer and praise. God well guide me and mold me in to the women he made me to be. Learning to let go of many things that I can not control has been hard but I am at peace with life and those things I can not control. Only God is in control. I hope as I share my story and struggles that others we learn and grow as I have. God is not done with me yet. I well continue to grow and becoming a women of God.

Humble is wisdom

 I am truly blessed to say I am a Technical Sergeant select in the Alaska Air National Guard. My devotional for March 3rd was titled Scientific Selflessness.When pride comes, then comes shame; But with the humble is wisdom. Proverbs 11:2  

Tech School 2001

 Everything that lead up to the happenings on Saturday were all Gods doing. I was informed of this opportunity to sew on another strip in October. My first thoughts were I have lots to do to get prepared. I started to prepare myself and my resume. I also started to get overwhelmed and scared. How was I going to do this interview process. I have never done it before. With Gods help and letting him work in me. I got though every step of this process.
 I am so thankful for all those who encouraged me and let me know it is OK to humbly share what I do and what I can do. Many people struggle with sharing there talents etc. I for one didn't want to boost or be filled with to much pride.

Swearing in the Alaska Air National Guard

Airmen Leadership Graduation

 Authority makes some people grow- and others just swell. I well use this opportunity and blessing to grow in every way I can. Thank you for all that prayed encouraged and showed me the way. God is so good.

A time for everything

As I sit and read my Bible in the morning It opens up to Ecclesiastes 3 A time for everything. This is one of my moms favorite passages. It is becoming mine too.

New Year New Goals 2013

As I look back on January 2012 I see I made some monthly goals and had planed on doing that every month. oops that didn't happen. I think I meet or almost met all but one of those goals . What where those goals you ask. Here they are.

1. Run
2. spend more time with girls
3. spend more quality time with Jeremy
4. except the things I can not change

OK I could have ran a little more this summer as I think back I should have. Might have helped with all the other things that were going on. Number 4 has been the one I struggle with the most. I still need to get the Serenity Prayer posted some where in my home. 

Now that its a new year. I have started thinking of some new goals. 

1. Take the dogs for a walk at least once a day. As long as it is above 25* and not raining, snowing or really windy. (this one well take a little effort since I well have to take 2 walks. One with each dog. And bundle  up a 3 1/2 year old)

2. Be selfish at least once a week.

3. Make sure to have a Sidney/mom or Sidney/dad time at least once a month.

4. Take Ashlynn to one social activity (outside the house) a week.

5. once a month date night (this one maybe more like every other month)

6. Start a Cleaning Calendar


Doing these things for the ultimate goal of finding a balance to all the things in my life. Waking up excited for life and enjoying every minute of it.

Winter Again

I made it through summer and fall. Winter is upon us. Feeling pretty good. I continue to work on myself and leave the past in the past. I am feeling that everyday is a challenge especially with a 3 year old. I am telling myself to enjoy it all because soon both my girls well be grown. I still am holding on to a little bit of anger towards the things I wish were done. Holding on to anger about things said. Trying to find the joy in everything. Without God I am sure none of that would be possible. I thought I would put a little update out there to anyone one that reads this.

Learning to find the Joy in the Storm

If you follow me on Facebook I am sure you are aware of the storm that has been brewing. I don't want to air my dirty laundry to the world (or whoever may be reading this). I just need to feel that I am not alone. I am realizing more and more I am not. But I am still struggling even after talking and praying. I thought I would try the next form of therapy, writing a blog post.

 I get up every morning (hopefully before my wonderful girls do) let the dogs out, make coffee and sit down with my devotionals. But even in the mist of praying for my husband and praying for our life together I can not control what is happening in side of him. I can only do my part and try to make a happy home for him. Do you ever notice that when you live closely with someone and they are feeling down you start to feel down too? I can not count how many times before I have experienced this and try not to let someone Else's mood effect my own. In the end it still gets to me.

I thought my days away from the house and staying up with some wonderful friends and then going to my other job. Had got me out of my funk. But I fell back in to the rut. I see the other persons mood changing and looking better. But I cant seem to find my happy mood. I feel so angry about the things I can not control.  I am mad at myself for getting my hopes up about certain things, because I knew I would be disappointed.  Maybe its the weather. Maybe its that my house is still not finished. Things don't have a permanent place and I feel the clutter is cluttering my mind. I choose my life as a mother and a wife so why am I struggling with it now. Am I burnt out and need a break? Am I thinking to much about things I can't forget but have already forgave? Am I stuck on what Amanda wants, how Amanda wants things? Yes, Yes I am. But its not about me. Its all about Christ. I keep singing this song over and over again. I keep turning to the one I know who well help me through this. I keep searching for that answer that quick fix. That sign from God. I know I am trying to hard.

 

I do know if I don't change my attitude and my mood. Then everyone around me well not be able to stand me. I can't even stand myself right now. Grrrrr. OK even after typing that I am starting to feel better.  I choice to be happy and I choice to Let Go and Let God Take care of the past, present and future.

I well let you know in a couple of days If I truly have let go and let God. Thanks for reading and letting me vent. That was kind of ugly. Please forgive me.